Here begins the first of a series of posts called, “For the honesty”.
In the midst of this blog being criticized and me doubting my writing and calling to write (I’m not going to go on about this, Brett), I have sensed a stripping away of layers to reveal a messy soul.
Hence, I have sensed for a while that I need to share my current journey which is a journey back to Jesus. I share this journey, not as an exercise in gratuitous self-indulgence but out of a need to be real about who I am and how much I struggle sometimes to wear the mantle of disciple.
I still love Jesus. I love him with everything. At least, that’s what I say. Maybe it’s more true to say that I want to love him with everything. In fact, that’s the deepest desire of my heart. Unfortunately, my persistent mediocrity in faith tells a story of a travel weary sojourner who desires water but can’t see it for the trees.
Documenting this journey is as much about me understanding what Jesus is busy shaping in me as it is about being authentic.
There are those who will jump to conclusions, no doubt. I will hear soon enough that I am off the rails and leaving the faith. On the contrary, my deepest desire in this journey is that I will be even more immersed in Jesus and that he will be more evident in my life. This is not a questioning of faith, it is the continuing story of grace in my life. It is also a story of hope because I know that despite me, Jesus will do what needs to be done.
Lastly, my prayer is that, as you read these posts, you will be encouraged to be real about your faith and desire a deeper relationship with God. Maybe I’m also hoping that some of you would choose to get your hands dirty and sojourn with me.
PS: To Yolanda, Brett, Dalene, Ross, Shae and Tim who have – intentionally or not – helped me to pluck up the courage to do this blogging vibe again, Thank you!
“…a journey back to Jesus.” I feel like you’ve dug into the depths of my soul and written as you’ve seen. Tears express best what I feel as I read this, but those don’t appear on comments so… I love how desperate this is – beautifully so. And it’s raw and in-your-face. Forced to stop in my tracks and consider where I stand.
Also, ever grateful for your written words. I’m glad you have found courage for this again. I will sojourn. Thank you (emphasis on “you”).
oh stop leaving the faith bruce. and send the haters to my house and i will gladly punch them on the nose [flip, last time i joked using that statement i got in to SO MUCH TROUBLE, but i will!] – and just blog already – can’t wait… you need to add “and Father, help me TODAY to not care about what other people think” to your daily or weekly or monthly prayers… because that [which maybe none of us fully get but i think i get it a lot so can coach you a bit from the side] is such a huge thing… and because i hate it when these silly people keep crippling you or tripping you up or giving you misgivings… you have a gift and while i think it is probably great for you from time to time to take breaks [and it makes us hungrier] i do like it when you are writing cos you challenge and encourage and inspire… go team bruce!
Seriaas? You are one of a handful of guys that I say “I wish I had faith like that!”. Very well written. Certainly helps wannbe’s like me rethink my current status with God and gives us hope.
Bruce, you have a REAL writing talent. I have never read a post of yours that was boring or irrelevant. Never stop again. You probably have a duty!
Great to see that you are putting your words and thoughts down for others to be challenged and encouraged. I have really missed these pages over the last few months! You have a gift with words and should not be hiding them.