Here begins the first of a series of posts called, “For the honesty”.
In the midst of this blog being criticized and me doubting my writing and calling to write (I’m not going to go on about this, Brett), I have sensed a stripping away of layers to reveal a messy soul.
Hence, I have sensed for a while that I need to share my current journey which is a journey back to Jesus. I share this journey, not as an exercise in gratuitous self-indulgence but out of a need to be real about who I am and how much I struggle sometimes to wear the mantle of disciple.
I still love Jesus. I love him with everything. At least, that’s what I say. Maybe it’s more true to say that I want to love him with everything. In fact, that’s the deepest desire of my heart. Unfortunately, my persistent mediocrity in faith tells a story of a travel weary sojourner who desires water but can’t see it for the trees.
Documenting this journey is as much about me understanding what Jesus is busy shaping in me as it is about being authentic.
There are those who will jump to conclusions, no doubt. I will hear soon enough that I am off the rails and leaving the faith. On the contrary, my deepest desire in this journey is that I will be even more immersed in Jesus and that he will be more evident in my life. This is not a questioning of faith, it is the continuing story of grace in my life. It is also a story of hope because I know that despite me, Jesus will do what needs to be done.
Lastly, my prayer is that, as you read these posts, you will be encouraged to be real about your faith and desire a deeper relationship with God. Maybe I’m also hoping that some of you would choose to get your hands dirty and sojourn with me.
PS: To Yolanda, Brett, Dalene, Ross, Shae and Tim who have – intentionally or not – helped me to pluck up the courage to do this blogging vibe again, Thank you!